The Facts of Infidelity
Part 3: Men and Cheating
As we continue our series of articles on infidelity, this time in Part 3 we’ll cover men and cheating. You may be thinking, especially if you’re a woman (and maybe also if you’re a man), that all men cheat strictly for physical reasons. This article will shows that is often not true.
Why do men cheat?
It’s actually unmet emotional needs more often than you’d think.
25% of men cite marriages that are “not very happy” as reasons they cheat, more than double the number of women who cheat for that reason.
48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.
A mere 8 percent of men claimed that sexual dissatisfaction was the main reason for their infidelity. So perhaps for men who cheat, it really isn’t all about sex.
Only 12% of cheating husbands said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife. This indicates men don’t necessarily stray because they think they’ll get to have better sex with a hotter body than that of their wives. Most of the time, studies show that men cheat to fill an emotional void. A man ends up developing a connection with the other woman, and sex just becomes a part of the package.
Other surprising facts about male cheaters:
66% of adulterous men say they have a sense of guilt during an affair.
68% of male cheaters never thought they’d be unfaithful, and almost all of them regretted it and wished they hadn’t cheated.
Only 6% of cheating men had sex with a woman the same day they met them.
Surprisingly, 73% of adulterous men actually spent over a month getting to know the other woman before he cheated with her.
Male physiology and cheating
Resting heart rate:
Men who seek excitement, such as extreme sports athletes, tend to engage in all kinds of arousing events, which unfortunately sometimes includes extramarital affairs. These men have low resting heart rates. Bomb disposal professionals and parachutists also have low resting heart rates. These under-aroused individuals also commit more crimes than other men. Volating social norms gets them the excitement they crave.
Testosterone levels:
The amount of testosterone present in a man can be visually assessed by looking at his face (jaw jutting out, prominent cheekbones), body hair (hairy means more testosterone, but very high testosterone causes male pattern baldness, hence a high rate of alpha males are baldheaded), deep voice, and muscularity. [Demerits] for a longer fourth to second finger, more than average hairiness, and a long jaw.
Oxytocin levels:
The hormone oxytocin has been called the “cheating hormone”. Low levels of it could help a person cheat, while high levels of it a man stay faithful.
Emotional range:
If a guy gets teary-eyed from a romantic movie or other heart wrenching scenes, he’s got an intact oxytocin system.
Personality Traits:
For men, the following personality variables are significant predictors of infidelity:
- Propensity for sexual excitation (becoming easily aroused by many triggers and situations)
- Concern about sexual performance failure.
The latter finding might seem counterintuitive, but other studies have also supported this connection. “People might seek out high-risk situations to help them become aroused, or they might choose to have sex with a partner outside of their regular relationship because they feel they have an ‘out’ if the encounter doesn’t go well — they don’t have to see them again.”
All sorts of thing can predict infidelity. What this study says is that for men, when you put all of those things together personality characteristics are so strong they bounce everything else out of the model. For women, in the face of all other variables, it’s still the relationship that is the most important predictor.
In Part 4, we’ll talk about Women and Cheating.
Contact Tim D. Wilson Investigations
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Other articles in our infidelity series:
